Different Perspectives
June 13, 2008
I was reminded yesterday, how important it is to attempt to see things from someone else’s perspective even when it isn’t at first obvious. While I was riding my bike yesterday a couple of small dogs started to chase me. I wasn’t all that concerned as they were very little dogs and they were not really keeping up with me. However, they ended up in the middle of a fairly quiet secondary road. Within seconds of my passing the small dogs, a driver came from behind and one in front of me. My first instinct was to worry about the small dogs with the two cars coming toward them. So, using hand gestures, I waved to the driver to slow down. Sometimes drivers are not all that curteous to bikers but I hoped that the driver would trust that I requested her to slow down for a good reason and not because I thought she was driving down the country road too quickly. I watched behind me and noticed both cars slowed down for the two dogs to safely get back home.
Sometimes when we`re out on country roads people can become angry with cyclists and sometimes, cyclists with motorists. I wondered how different the scenario would have been if the motorist had thought that I was telling her to slow down because she was going too fast – which I don’t think she was. Or if I had given the message to someone else who would have interpreted it negatively. Would they have gotten annoyed, sped up and accidently run into one of the dogs? I am grateful that the driver whom I came across yesterday saw my ’slow down’ message and the dogs.
I wonder in life how often we hear messages that are intended to protect other people, animals, or things and are interpreted negatively. When the messages are misread or misinterpreted we can end up straining our relationships and harming those we set out to protect. It’s worth considering when we hear a message, to ask ourselves what the positive intention of the message might be rather than becoming defensive toward the message. I am happy that the driver considered my perspective and slowed down. Now I just have to ride past the dogs about five more times before my upcoming qualicum triathlon.
Belinda Kissack, M.A. is a Registered Clinical Counsellor working in the Cowichan Valley and in her free time trains for running races and triathlons.
